Q: I've got calves that look like Tara Lipinski's. Once and for all, high reps or low reps? Standing calf raises or seated calf raises? A bullet to my head or a good dose of anthrax?


Anyhow, when I got home, I dug out the routine that I had given Luke from my computer archives. It's one that would serve anyone well. Here it is:

Day 1: High-Volume

Exercise A: Calf Superset*

*After finishing a set of the A1 exercise, proceed immediately to exercise A2. Then rest two minutes before repeating the super set.

Exercise B: Standing Calf Raises


**In other words, you'll be doing one, long, extended set, resting ten seconds between each mini-set and lowering the weight in between.

After day one, you'll probably have to call the fire department to extinguish the fire in your calves. You may also find that you have the same walk as Homer Simpson's 80-year-old father.

Day 2: Low-Volume (to be done 48 hours after Day 1)

Exercise A: Triple Drop Standing Calf Raises

***The pause is taken in the bottom stretch position, and be sure to take the full two seconds.

This routine provides freaky size increases. As you can see, it uses a great number of total reps. I've found that in order to build calves, you need some frequency of training and some volume, but you can't have both high volume and high frequency. Therefore, I advise training them twice over a five-day cycle, one workout being very high sets (16) and high total reps (250-510 reps); and the other being low sets (3) for a low amount of total reps (90). I've known people to gain in between 5/8ths of an inch to a full inch with this routine in as little as 30 days.

If you fail to meet the aforementioned results, and as far as your suicide option is concerned, may I suggest instead that you watch six back-to-back episodes of "Gilligan's Island": you'd be braindead within the day.