T-Nation | Combat http://www.t-nation.com/category.jsp?categoryID=82 T-Nation: Combat en-us Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:51:29 GMT Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:51:29 GMT http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss T-Nation via P-APP-12 webmaster@biotest.net webmaster@biotest.net 82 60 Boxing Training Camps http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5687478
Going to cuba? Would you be able to train there as a foreigner?

Mexico? Again, is it set up like thailand were there are gyms very welcoming to foreigners to come and train?

I'm looking at going to thailand for 3 weeks, maybe a month to train and want to add the boxing equivalent to my bucket list.
]]> Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:41:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5687478 Help Redesigning This Program http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5688330
Though I would like to incorporate training of the hands, wrists, feet, ankles, neck, as well in order to improve my striking power and to prevent future injuries in those areas. I tried to design and lay out a resistance training program myself with all the knowledge I have on strength and conditioning and anatomy and physiology.

I also tried getting help with obtaining a well-designed program for myself by asking questions in the beginners forum; however, trainers such as Colucci had eventually replied that the training routine I laid out is not going to build strength, power, or muscle size and that it's poorly designed in terms of exercise choice, training frequency, bodypart imbalance, and set/rep scheme. He suggested that I go to combat forum here, for input.

I've even looked all over the internet for countless days, but I have found no well-designed program for Hapkidoists like myself that also will get me to my goals. I know it seems as if I am overanalyzing on what to do, but I would appreciate it if someone could explain to me on why this training routine that I've copied below won't work and how I can significantly improve it so that it optimally complement my training in Hapkido.

Monday: 45 min. Hapkido class. After class, I would perform a few forearms exercises in a
circuit including wrist rollers, knuckle pushups, and fingertip pushups. I would do
one set for each exercise per circuit without going to failure and then repeat the
entire again 1-2 more times.
a few hours before or after my Hapkido class I would do:
Neck Extension, 1 x 15, progressing to 3 x 25
Neck Flexion, 1 x 15, progressing to 3 x 25
Neck Lateral Flexion (each way), 1 x 15, progressing to 3 x 25
Then Maybe 2x25 supination
Afterwards maybe 2x25 pronation

Tuesday: My first main resistance training workout of the day would include:
4x12 (total of 24 reps on both legs) Dynamic Barbell Lunges
3x12 Barbell Good Mornings (with slightly bent legs)
3x5 Wide-grip pullups. On this exercise I do about 5 reps with good form
and then do another 2-3 reps with the assistance of a giant rubber band.
3x12 dumbbell bent-over rows
3x12 dumbbell pullovers
3x12 standingdumbbell shoulder press
After being done with all those exercises I would right afterwards do
3x12 standing calf raises with no added weight
3x12 standing toe raises with no added weight

My second main resistance training workout of the day (few hours after the first
main and assistance workouts of the day would include:
2x30 hindu push-ups
2x30 hindu squats
2x 3-4 min. planks
After being done with all those exercises I would right afterwards do
towel grip pullups (with as many as I can without going to failure)
Neck Extension, 1 x 10, progressing to 3 x 6-8
Neck Flexion, 1 x 10, progressing to 3 x 6-8
Neck Lateral Flexion (each way), 1 x 10, progressing to 3 x 6-8
3 sets of farmer's walk for almost as long as I can
3 sets of finger band extensions
3 sets of plate pinch extensions

Wednesday: Day off

Thursday: Same as on Monday

Friday: Same as on Tuesday

Saturday: Running for approx. 30 min. with vibram five finger shoes on

Sunday: Day off

]]> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:43:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5688330 One Thing that Changed Everything http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5629648
This summer I'll be transitioning from Judo to Muay Thai. Just for the summer, though. I've never really had any moments of clarity other that weight training really is just GPP and that I need to train more.

Anyone here have some moments of clarity they'd like to share?
]]> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 21:57:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5629648 Dog Days - A Fighter's Log http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5651957
I am a 25 year old boxer, competing at Super Middleweight under 168lbs or 76.2kg.
I train as hard as I can and I honestly enjoy doing so.

I hope that you can take something from this log as I am essentially painting my life on this canvas. I have just returned from competition abroad, where I fell on the wrong side of a very dubious decision, so now I have to push even harder to reverse my fortune. ]]> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 21:16:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5651957 Enson Inoue AKA Yamato Damashi http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5692159
Enson is always on the forums and facebook giving advice to fans and your average guy training. He recently did a pilgrimage and is raining a tonne of money to aid the people displaced by the recent treagic events in japan.












Where would you rank Enson in with other MMA legends? Am I just sentimental because he is one of the first guys to really inspire me?

Also who was your favorite PRIDE fighter? I want some fun lists and videos to scan while at work :) ]]> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 18:23:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5692159 Log O' the Irish 2.0 http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5318526
I'm 5'7" and right now weighing in around 173 lbs. My schedule is more or less the 2-day version of 5/3/1. I lift legs on Monday, box 12-15 rounds on Tuesday, run on Wednesday, box another 12-15 on Thursday, take part in a boxing club on Friday night, and then lift on Saturday. Sometimes the schedule varies but that tends to be the routine.

Due to several dislocations of my left shoulder and the propensity it has for doing that, I'm not training for a fight at this point. I might look to fight eventually, but it would probably have to be after surgery fixed that issue.

As a result, I box as many other practice martial arts - for hobby, for self-defense, and for the workout, as well as just plain love of the sport. My goals here are simple: increase my boxing ability and endurance while simultaneously getting stronger. This can be done - I have been doing it for the past 24 months - but far more slowly because of the boxing. That's alright though, because becoming adept at my sport is the most important thing to me at this point.

Plus, I write about boxing, so the more I understand about the sport from a boxer's standpoint, the better my writing and analyzation of a given fight is.

My maxes are roughly as follows -

Military press - 125 lbs.
Deadlift - 335 lbs.
Squats - 260 lbs.
Bent-over rows - 210 lbs.

The bent-over rows have taken the place of bench pressing, which I don't do because of the shoulder pain it has created and caused for the past ten years. Horizontal pressing tends to be either dumbbell benching or pushups, which are more than enough for me.

Couple things about my style: I'm a white guy but don't fight like one. I've been told I have great movement and hand speed, and when I spar I'm moving a lot and picking my shots. I'm more of a boxer/counter-puncher than anything.

I'm also a southpaw, so it changes the dynamics of nearly every drill I do. I have a solid jab and a very, very strong left hand - straight left and uppercut are both killers. My right hook is still awful and I cannot get the hang of it. I work on it constantly as a result.

The boxer I would model myself after in the ring would be something like Floyd Mayweather or Sugar Ray Leonard, although my favorite is Roberto Duran. I can take shots like Duran - I've got a great chin - but damn, I don't want to.

Thanks fellas.
]]> Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:46:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5318526 Ranzo Training log http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5428004 I was working the late shift at work this week so I had time in the mornings to lift and less tmie at night to train so you will see that in my training as time goes on.

Monday October 29th

5/3/1 Overhead press day one week three big but boring.

Warm up
45x5
55x5
65x3
Main lifts
80x5
95x3
105x7
Accessory lifts
Overhead press 5 sets of 10 reps at 55
5 sets of 10rep pull ups.

Working on Late shift this week so lifted in the morning and went to NoGi jiu jitsu after work.

Worked on Americana submission from guard , side mount etc and the defenses. 20minutes of open rolling.



Wed. Oct. 31st

5/3/1 Dead lift week 3 day2

Warm up
110 x 5
135x5
165x3
Main Lifts
205x5
230x3
260x4
Accessory
Dead lift 5 sets of 10 at 135
Weighted sit up 3 sets of 20 at 45


Thursday 11-1-12

Still on Late shift. No weights Went to class
Worked on guard passes and defenses
Kimura submission and escapes
Free rolling 30minutes.


Starting a regular schedule Next week. I will post some more training then. ]]> Tue, 18 Jun 2013 13:46:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5428004 Kong Falls Dead from Empire State Building http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5610999
So, today I went to my lesson itching for a sparring session and immediately told my coach I want to review double end ball work. We did, and then translated work onto the heavy bag. We then went into a clear space and shadowboxed while shuffling, changing angles and TRYING TO STAY LOOSE. he reiterated that being too tight wastes energy and works into an opponents favour. He even said not to make a fist. When hitting the bag he said only make the fist just before contact. We also worked on proper bobbing and setting that up into a counter like hook, straight or uppercut. I am glad we did because I had my doubts at home about it.



It should be obvious who I am (hint: my coach is beyond needing headgear).

I am still uploading at this typing, so don't worry if it doesn't play right away. ]]> Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:30:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5610999 Gloves n Shorts http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5583283
finally wore out my old ringside imf tech training gloves. they where great and for some reason i liked them more than any other glove i put on during their lifespan. (used on and off for 5 years). finally the foam had broken appart and the seams were all split so i went to check out some new gloves.

ended up grabbin these and damn do i love them already. the weight distribution is awesome they feel so much lighter and faster than any other glove ive tried


any one else on the cleto reyes train?



maybe a mitts and shorts thread? whats every one wearing?
]]> Thu, 13 Jun 2013 10:29:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5583283 Elite Fighters Training & Sparring http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5677795

A very relevant way to start this thread. With sparring that took place on thei day (June 5th) over 20 years ago!

Toney and McClellan. Two very contrasting favourites of mine.

Toney of course was an "old school" craftsman; twice in the first thirthy seconds he slips outside of McClellans left and uses his shoulder to turn and get behind McClellan. And then immediatly at 0.32 again!

McClellan was a more straight up offensive fighter, typical of Emmanuel Stewards Kronk stable. around the 2.20 mark we see McClellan up and mobile. Very impressive for a guy who's technique and accuracy has been largely forgotten- or overshadowed by his monstrous power. ]]> Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:41:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5677795 Multiple Attackers and a Pistol http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5587741
]]> Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:29:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5587741 Holding New Weight http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5657500
any tips? ]]> Wed, 12 Jun 2013 01:02:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5657500 Cardio without Running? http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5684110
I used to run a lot but doing 5,10 and 15km runs have left me with super tight calves and sore knees which seemed to hinder my progress.

I was doing football pitch sprints but these too left me brokes and unable to explode while bridging or recover fast enough. I am looking for some conditioning to do once or twice a week that won't burn my legs out.

I was thinking rowing machine, light kettlebells or something that does not tax the lower body.

Has anyone had any luck with this sort of conditioning or do I just need to eat more on cardio days and get used to it and hopefully adapt to the running? ]]> Wed, 12 Jun 2013 00:31:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5684110 Taking Care of your Gear http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5679949
I love them both - solid, quality material, and just great equipment.

My question, though, is what are your tricks for taking care of your all-leather (or really, any kind of) stuff?

I've been wiping the gloves and the bag down with a wet rag after working out just to get the sweat off them - no doubt salt and sweat and oil is a killer - but should I be hitting them with a leather conditioner every so often?

Any other tricks, tips, etc. for keeping stuff clean, stink-free, and in shape for the long haul?
]]> Tue, 11 Jun 2013 19:52:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5679949 Big Nog - Time to Talk Retirement? http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5682330
There was a time when his opening flurry would have been enough. He struck hard and fast, but his speed and explosiveness seems to have fallen off. He had Werdum back on his heels several times, but wasn't able to capitalize like he used to.

I think Big Nog may have a few fights left in him, he wasn't dominated or anything (that armbar showed pretty impressive agility on Werdum's part) but he doesn't seem his old self and I don't think he's got what it takes to climb to a title anymore. If it were me, I'd seriously consider looking at my exit strategy. There's good money to be made in coaching and comentary, but only if there's enough of your grape left to put together sentences. ]]> Mon, 10 Jun 2013 12:52:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5682330 Interesting Striking Concept http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5678126 Heres the actual page:

"the key is always being lined up with your opponents eyes,like you're trying to stay on level with a wave in the ocean. Up and down side to side stay level with his eyes."

He goes on to then explain how it forces you to punch straight, and naturally will protect your face more with your shoulders.
Now ive been to both boxing and kickboxing gyms over years and NEVER heard of this, but seems VERY interesting.
Im asking if anyone else has heard of this and if you havent what do you think of it? Thoughts? ]]> Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:47:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5678126 You Don't Know Sh*t About Boxing! http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5671791
I'm watching through all these old and even some recent fights, and I'm cringing constantly because of these dumb, bad calls made by these cocksuckers, and dont even get me started on how fucking irritating it is to listen to someone whose never stepped into a ring, probably not even the gym, argue with guys like Foreman or Jones on the technical aspects.

Lampley should get fuckin ram jammed for some of the calls he makes, if it was still the era of radio, you would be at home thinking someone was winning a fight by the way Lampley is screaming about shots that didn't even fucking land.

Kellerman isn't bad, and he seems to have a much more inherent respect for the fighters, but shit somebody please do a blow-by-blow on lampley and merchant and get back to me when they are TKO'd from the game of life. ]]> Wed, 05 Jun 2013 01:54:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5671791 Violent Domestics and Street Encounters http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5640207

Robert and I were commenting on the Vintage LEO topic and I thought a good topic ( and a change of pace) would be to share experiences that ended up being on the humorous side of life. I have occasionally scribbled down a few words on some of the more funny domestics I have been involved with, when working the street as a uniformed LEO. I still remember this one every time i get caught in a thunderstorm.

* Some notes: This incident is true, only the names have been changed to protect me from being sued.

* "Grasshopper" was my nickname in my unit
* "Big Cynthia" was my Sergeant
* "LiL Mack" worked the zone next to mine and was my primary backup"

* Any of you have any funny street encounters, throw them up here


The Towering Oaks
The Towering Oaks was a neighborhood starting at the northern end of Oakwood Avenue and stretching all the way through Baker Street, to butt up against the southern end of Old Federal Park

Currently in the throes of severe urban gentrification, it was a comprised of middle and upper class Whites, Blacks, Mexicans, and gays of all colors. You had to be very aware when answering a call in the area, because, you never knew who had their little ears open for any type of non politically correct comments, fortunately, us animals rarely got a call in the area, and when we did it was mostly alarms

Many of the old southern houses were being re modeled and each couple seemed to be in a frantic race to outdo their neighbor. The term â??class warâ?? really means the well off fighting for neighborhood domination on everything from manicured little lawns to Christmas decorations

(Fine with me, take all you aggressions out on remodeling and show casing the latest Weber grill, just dont lose control and start rolling toilet paper on your neighbors picturesque little lawn).


0037 Hours: 3334 Oakwood Avenue, Towering Oaks Neighborhood
OH, GOD, OH GOD, Please believe me, I love my wife!


A late season hurricane was pounding the Outer Banks of North Carolina and pushing in some severe storms in our area, lightning had been streaking across the sky for the past two hours, and I was praying to St. Michael, the rain would hold off until I got off duty
Nothing worse that working a wreck in raging deluge, especially since it was a weeknight, and the bars would be closing earlier than normal, and every drunk would be trying to beat the rain back to their burrows

I was on southern end of the park looking for a place to hide until the end of the shift, when the radio dispatcher hit the alert tone

Unit 6 Unit 6
Unit 6,go ahead, dispatch, I said
Unit 6 be in route to 3334 Oakwood Avenue,â violent domestic in progress, one subject armed with a lamp


(Lamp?)

Unit 6, clear, in route

Unit 13, in route also, I heard LiL Mack clear on the call

(What the hell? I thought, thats rare for that section of the neighborhood, maybe a gay fight, they often armed themselves with some weird weapons)
Driving across Baker Avenue, I tried to remember if I had ever handled a domestic there

(Nope, didnt set off any alarms)


Turning down Oakwood, I noticed that each home on this block was well kept, and had some nice cars parked on the street, looked like a modern day version of a Norman Rockwell painting
(Some money on this street or overextended credit)

Locating the address, I got out of the car and studied the large ranch style home, looking for any snipers or enraged husbands or wives with a suicide by police wish

LiL Mack arrived and walked up beside me, stuffing his flashlight into his belt and slipping on a pair of black gloves

You ever been here? he said,

Nope

You?

No, but, its lit up like a revival tent

I know,and I dont hear much screaming or cursing either,place seems a little odd to me, I said

As we walking up the little manicured pathway the thunder begin to boom and a lightning bolt shot over the top of the house, blasting the place with a surreal type of white light

Mack jumped and instinctively ducked his head

Ease up I said, You too short to be hit by lightning

Funny, Grasshopper real funny I dont want to end up a crispy critter, just because the idiots in there cant get along

Dont worry about lightning I said, it just Gods way of doing a drive by shooting, and, like I said, you too short to hit


Giving me the stink eye, Mack, said, There is something seriously wrong with you

We got close to the front door and I noticed the knocker was a fish symbol

Hey, I said, a Christian lives here thought they were extinct

Mack looked at the knocker and shook his head

Heyyou know why Christians use a fish symbol?

No, Why?

Its a subtle reminder that if you know how to catch fish, you can live longer than someone who doesnt

Knock it off,lets get this settled before it starts to rain

We placed ourselves on each side of the door and I banged my flashlight on the fish head

(Must be cheap I thought, as I saw a dent appear next to its left eye)

A white woman in her forties answered the door, tears cutting a crooked path through heavy mascara, sporting a torn blouse and cut lip

You called, Lady?

(I know it sounds stupid to ask, but, you have to start somewhere)

Thank God You are here!my husband has went into the kitchen to get a paddle to give me a spanking

(What?)

Are you hurt? I said, seeing a little blood dribble from her cut lip

She just started crying

Call an ambulance, Mack, will you?

Ok,

Where is your husband? Does he any guns or knives with him?

Still shell shocked, she glanced back toward the rear of the house and said
He has his Jesus lamp

(What?)


Just answer the question Does he have a gun or knife?

No, he doesnt believe in violence


(Really, I thought, then why am I standing here)


Hearing a loud bellow from the rear of the house

Margaret! Margaret!

Get your ass in the bedroom for your spanking, now! you sinful bitch!

Police!I yelled, at the top of my lungs, come out here, and,let me see your hands!

I heard a mumbled curse and a short, dumpy, overweight white male emerged from the hall way, dressed in a large pair of boxer shorts, with large blue dolphins leaping across the white fabric


(Blue dolphins?)


He was carrying a slender rod about 6 foot long, with a Jesus figure attached at the top and a small burning light above, like a glowing halo around Jesus head

(Must run on a battery, I thought, put some robes on this boy and he would like a fat Gandalf)

Sir put the lamp down and step over here, I said

Giving me a flat stare, he turned to the woman and said

Margaret you fucking sinner! You called Satans troops on me?

(Satan' troops?)

Sir,put the lamp down!

Giving me another baleful stare, he said

You have no right to be here you agent from hell!

Well get this straight you overweight torch bearer for Christ, you are under arrest for domestic battery


Now put the fucking lamp down!

No!, He screamed, no member of Satan's squad will ever touch me and burn me black with their filthy hands!


I looked at Mack and said

He a crazy?


Mack just shrugged his shoulders and said

Crazy enough for me

Ok, last time put the fucking lamp down!

No!, creature of Satan ,I will not do it!

Ok, no problem, take it to jail with you, as I stepped to the side and struck him hard across the knee with my collapsible baton


He screamed and grabbed his knee, his dolphin covered ass hitting the floor

Margaret yelled, take that you sodomizing bastard!, and tried to kick him in the head

Mack, grabbed her arm and threw her against the couch,

Fuck!, he yelled, as she tried to kick him in the balls

Jumping on dolphin boy's back, I pushed his face into the carpet and got the cuffs on him in record time

Jumping up, I yelled and waved my arms in a circle, like a cowboy finishing up roping a calf

I got to Mack's side and we threw Margaret on the floor, cuffing her, and sticking her head between two couch cushions

Jesus Christ!, Mack said , what the fuck is wrong with these people?

The woman started making gagging sounds, I didnt know whether she was crying or suffocating
I pulled her head up out of the cushions

Crying

Now calm the fuck downâ?? orâ?? I am going to stuff your head in the cushions again, ok? She nodded her head and then looked over at dolphin boy

I hope, the fuck you are satisfied,you lousy fucking sorry ass excuse for a fucking Christian believer!

(Damn, thats a mouthful)

Mack and I rolled Margaret up into a sitting position and put her on the couch, finally having time to glance around the foyer and living room, I saw several paintings of Jesus, THE LAST SUPPER, and a velvet poster of Elvis

(You might think that was a bit odd, but, I dont know how many times I walked into a house or apartment and saw three things: pictures of Jesus , Martin Luther King, and Elvis: the three kings , I guess)

We walked over to the dolphin boy and put him in a sitting position against the wall,

Dont touch me! you filthy creatures! spittle flying out of his mouth

Hey, Mack, you shower today before you came on duty?

Making sure he was securely cuffed, I went back over to Margaret, who had finally gotten herself under some type of control

Ambulance will be here shortly, I said, You want to tell me what happened here?

Dont tell them a god damn thing! Margaret!, or so help me God,I will bring Gods wrath from the heavens down on your sinful ass!

I looked at Mack and said

Is it legal to gag someone while they are cuffed?

Dont think so, but, sounds like a good idea to me, what do you want to use?

I dont know, how about sticking your flashlight down his throat?

Dolphin boy was following this conversation with a weird light in his eyes, but, at least he had quieted down

I turned to Margaret and said,

Go ahead, tell us what happened

Margaret took a couple of small sniffles, and tried to wipe her nose on her shoulder, no easy feat handcuffed

Taking a deep breath, she said, That fat pig over there,nodding her head at dolphin boy,is my soon to be ex-husband and really emphasizing the word, is Reverend Samuel Coots,holy leader of the Church of Jesus Lights

(What?)

That's a Reverend? Like a real one? I said

(Lots of fake ones on the streets)

Margaret gave me a withering look,no he aint real, he thinks he is, but, he isnt

Dolphin boy (well, I guess, Sam now) let a out a yell,

I am real!I lead a congregation of ten thousand faithful!

Turning to Margaret, I said

Ten thousand? thats pretty large, where is his church?

He doesnt have any church!He leads a congregation on the internet! his fucking pulpit is in the spare bedroom,In front of his webcam, he is a true fake!

I am not! Sam screamed, I have a virtual church full of devoted believers!


(Virtual church? Well, better than a funeral home, I guess)


Ok, so he is a scam artist, so what happened?

Giving him another withering look, Margaret said

I work down at the Department of Motor Vehicles, and, I was late getting home to start dinner

I came in and went to thaw a chicken,when the holy reverend there came in, holding his Jesus lamp and said he need a blowjob, because he want to be both physically and spiritually closer to Jesus

Wait, I said, he wanted a blowjob?, while holding the Jesus lamp?

Yeah

(Mack and I looked at each other and we both shrugged, we had heard worse)

?Ok, what then?

Well, I told him that I was too tired to give him a blowjob, I had been working a REAL JOB all day while he had been prancing in from of his little camera

He started yelling at me that God had commanded woman to submit to a man,and I was going to submit or God would cast me into the fires of hell

I told him to shut off the rhetoric, he wasnt preaching any more, and, if I went to hell for not giving a blowjob , then hell had to be full of women

He started screaming I was using blasphemy, spitting on Jesus's light and I would submit

I told him,he was just jealous I wasnt spitting on his dick!

(Not bad, I thought, not bad)


He then grabbed me, and I tried to run away, but, he threw me against the wall and hit me with the Jesus lamp

Sam yelled, its a woman place to submit!, even you troops for Satan should know that!

Shut up, Reverend!

No, I wont, you spawn of the devil, I can see it in you!

Mack looked at me and said, hey, he been talking to Bigs sister?

Funny, Mack

Yeah, go ahead and laugh, spawn of devil seed, but, God knows I love my wife, and she has just lost her way!

Margaret yelled, lost my way? lost my way?, you asshole!, I must have lost my mind marrying you!

Ok,ok, I said, save it for the attorneys

Look, Margaret, I feel for you, he couldnt buy a blowjob from a hooker, much less get one for love, but, the state dont allow any leeway in this, you got go with us

Yeah,, Mack said, I would forget the kick at my balls, but, we cant, you could kill yourself after we leave and were are liable

Margaret took this all in and began crying softly

You fucking devils! Sam yelled, I love my wife!, leave her alone!

Looking at Mack, I said, take Margaret to your car, I will load up the Reverend

Ok, he said, as a thunderous clap shook the windows

You hear that devils spawn? thats God showing you how angry he is by touching me, you will know the wrath of God!

No, I said, Thats Jesus being pissed off for using his name in trying to cop a blowjob

Satan, he hissed, God Knows I love my wife and he will strike you down!

You take any medication? Thorazine perhaps?

Mack and I got both of them on their feet and headed out the door

The Reverend screamed in alternate tones that he loved his wife and he needed a pair of pants

Ok, I said, you love your wife? great, but, for now, just shut the fuck up!the blue dolphins stay, hey are the most stylish jail shorts I have ever seen, plus, you being full of Gods wrath, I am not going to take the cuffs off, so you can start another fight

Once outside, I saw the storm had increased in intensity and the wind was breaking the branches off an old breech tree and scattering them across the hood of my car

I waited until Mack got Margaret seated in his car, and then lead Sam over to mine, where he promptly started crying for Margaret

I want to ride with her! , he whined,I love my wife!

Hey, I said, dont sweat it, you will fit right in down at the jail, because,Jesus is always hanging out there, just ask around when you get, lots of assholes find Jesus at the Jail

ou can preach to some real hard asses and maybe redeem yourself in the eyes of the lord

Plus, you will have a live audience to address! Think about that,a chance to grow beyond your webcam, you may even start a new church, you could call it The Sons of Jesus

Heavy crying, post guilt type stuff , I love my wife! Please let me go, I promise to take care of her!

Ok,then get in the back and dont give me anymore crap,I will get you processed as fast as I can

I put him in the back seat, him yelling for â??Margaret!â?? tears and mucus covering his moon face.

I shut the rear door and got into the front, noticing the wind had reach enough velocity to rock the car

What happened next, is kind of blurry, but, Mack filled in the gaps

I had just shut the door when a tremendous flash of bluish light flashed over the interior of the car and I felt my blood start to tingle and my breath catch in my throat. I was aware of Sam screaming in the rear, but, it sounded a long, long, away. I blinked my eyes and saw bits of blue light dance all over my car, leaping like little fairies around the dash and radio system. I felt myself leave my body and look down, seeing the strange blue light and my hair floating like a reef of kelp. Suddenly, the light was gone, and my breath blasted from my lungsâ?¦Holy shit! What the fuck was that? I looked over the interior and saw my dash, radio, and mobile computer terminal were dark, with the plastic cracked or meting, glancing up, I saw the paint on the hood was melted into little black pools, and, for some reason I thought of my dear girlfriends attempt at making pancakes . I tried to breathe normally, but it didnt feel like I was getting enough oxygen. Suddenly my hearing snapped back, assaulted by the screams of Sam in the back .Oh my God!, My powerful God, please forgive me, I have sinned against your son and my wife, please forgive me, my precious God. I looked to the left and saw Mack running toward my car.

Mack opened the vehicle door and jerked me out so hard we both fell into the rain soaked grass. I was aware the rain was coming down in sheets, but, couldnâ??t feel much of anything.
Mack started screaming something and I tried to focus on his lips through the pouring rain

Grasshopper!, are you hurt!, Jesus Christ! are you alright?!

He got to his knees, looking like a drowned puppy and screamed again

Are you ok?!, say something, God Damnit!

I nodded my head and said what happened?, just as a loud burst of thunder shook the ground

What?, he screamed

I got my voice back

Why are you yelling?! I can fucking hear you!

Because you got hit by a bolt of lightning, you crazy fuck!

No shit?

No shit!

I looked over at the smoking hood of my car and said, better get the Reverend out of there, see if he is ok

I slowly got up as Mack pulled the whimpering Reverend from my car

I looked over and saw him fall to the ground, the front of his dolphin shorts stained dirty yellow

He was nearly incoherent, screaming at God to forgive him, trying to crawl away from the car like a fat slug

I yelled at Mack over the rain, get him up, and I will get him back in the house, better get Margaret out of your car before God fucks that one up too.

Through the downpour, I saw Mack wave ok, as I came over and got the Reverend by the arm
Get up Damnit!,we need to get inside and get you check out by the paramedics!

He was whimpering and nearly catatonic, but, managed to shuffle his way inside, and I lowered him in the same place against the living room wall

My hearing was returning to normal levels, and I could feel my blood pressure drop back within survival range

(What the fuck!)

Mack came in with Margaret and sat her on the couch

Looking over at Sam, she said

You got what you deserved you lousy fucker!, I hope your dick was blown off!

(Hell hath no fury)

Sam looked up from the floor and said

I saw the light!, Margaret, I saw the light and I have been saved!

Yeah, you have been saved alright, saved from an ass kicking by me!

Mack followed the paramedics as they came in to check out the Reverend and I

What happened? I asked again

Mack looked at me and slowly shook his head, he said

I had just got Margaret in the back seat, and I turned around to see if you needed any help loading the Reverend when lightning struck the transformer on the power pole next to you car

I saw the bolt run down the stabilizing cable and hit the ground, and it split in half, and then hit your car, man, that car looked like a fucking Christmas tree!, I thought you were fried sure as hell!

How do you feel?

like I been hit by a lightning bolt, but, you know, my sinuses have damn sure cleared up!


Jesus Christ! I thought you were dead!, he repeated

Well, the Brontos would have laughed about that, looking like one of their baskets of red hot wings!

(Mack and I both laughed, what the hell else you going to do?)

No, not dead! The Reverend shouted,we have both been saved and I saw the light!

The paramedic taking my blood pressure said


Grasshopper,you are one lucky bastard,I only see a few minor burns on your arm

Yeah, but,you werent floating in sea of kelp!

Giving me a funny look, he said, (looking at Mack) he needs to be transported and checked out by a cardiologist

Yeah, I said, I am fine,I go to city hospital, I won't come out alive,you get staph infection just walking through the emergency room doors

Funny,? Grasshopper, Mack said, too bad that surge of electricity didnt help in altering your personality

Thats what shock therapy is for isnt it, he said

Maybe it works on regular people, but, get this, Bro:I did cross over to the other side and you know what?

What?, he said, giving me his stink eye look

Its full of Haints!

Giving me a look between disbelief and stink eye, Mack said,

?Knock it off about Haints, havent you had enough trouble for one night?

Before I could answer, he said, I going to get your gear out of the car before the tow truck gets here

Thanks, Bro

I was sitting in the rear of the ambulance, watching the paramedic check out the reborn Reverend

When Big Cynthia walked up

You ok?, Grasshopper

Yeah, Sarge, I am ok, just feel a little shell shocked and laughed at my own joke

Yeah, thats original alright, glad you werent turned into a piece of the Colonels crispy chicken, but, the major is going to have a shit fit over that destroyed car

I know ,but, you know, you can tell him it was Gods will,and f he dont believe you , e can always talk to the reborn Reverend here.

Big Cynthia gave me the shark eyes and then burst out laughing

Hell, maybe I should call him now,bet he hasnt ever seen a Reverend wearing piss stained dolphins before!

And we both burst out laughing

(Damn, it was good not being fried)




]]> Tue, 04 Jun 2013 21:42:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5640207 Boxing Discussion Thread http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5636238
No specific topic, just discuss anything thats happening in the world of glovefisting as of late, such as...

Why is it so easy to hate Amir Khan?

Danny Jacobs is making a comeback after battling cancer, thats cool.

Clitshcko sisters are still the fight equivalent of ambien.

Who should Canelo fight next?

Does sergio martinez moonlight as a male escort? ]]> Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:06:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5636238 Vintage LEO Training http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5638287


From the description:
Vintage early color footage of the LASD Pistol Team at Biscailuz Range during a skilled shooting exhibition over 75 years ago in 1936. Legendary Marksman and LASD Aero Bureau aviation pioneer Sgt. Sewell Griggers featured. Also includes documentary footage demonstrating how the BC shooting range was used and maintained.


Regards,

Robert A ]]> Sun, 02 Jun 2013 21:02:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5638287 Gunshot Wounding Lecture http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5352818
The lecture appears to be being given to a group of paramedics/EMTS.

Nothing earth shattering for people that read on the subject or work in the field, but most of us do not get to sit in on these.

NOTE: The lecture is absolutely professional. It does however contain images of gunshot wounds. That may or may not make it "safe" for YOUR "work".



Regards,

Robert A ]]> Sun, 02 Jun 2013 12:23:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5352818 Favorite Videos http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5674165
I have been looking at some Freddie Roach vids on youtube where he explains some basics which I find really interesting. It might be a bit basic for most on here though but its not easy to get access to a coach of that quality.



And there is this video that someone else posted of Hopkins talking about the jab. Videos like this I feel I could watch all day. So helpful.



They don't have to be instructional like the ones I posted, they just happen to be two that I like. The second one especially. ]]> Sun, 02 Jun 2013 10:10:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5674165 Looking for Training Guidance http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5578532
I started because I am an MMA fan and wanted to get involved in martial arts since I was a kid but never had any near me to go to. I also want to learn how to protect myself. I took a lot of shit as a kid and had a few beatings. I figured jiu jitsu would be a good choice.
Well a few months ago a second cousin who also does jiujitsu, in another gym and is a purple belt was in a street fight and got absolutely smashed by a local guy with no training whatsoever.

He just could not take this lad down apparently and he was punched numerous times, had his nose broke and eyes were pretty bruised up. This has made me question if I should start training in another martial art as well. I recently had my motorbike stolen and found out who did it, a local thug off my estate, only problem is he is miles bigger than me and I really don't see it ending well for me.

I am really sick of being in an area full of bullies and thugs and I want to be able to stand up for myself but also I have always fancied training, been a boxing, k1, MMA and grappling fan and want to see how god I can get and try and compete as an amatuer in a number of stand alone martial arts and maybe MMA.

I am five foot 9 and pretty chubby with slight build, small hands etc. I am out of shape at the moment, probably could do 5 full pullups, 25 pressups. I am pretty shockingly nonexplosive and not athletic. I imagine to an outsider at first glance, I look a bit like kiff from futurama.


I have my MMA gym that offers stand up classes, BJJ and wrestling classes. I have a really close boxing gym that is quite expensive at around 25 for a private session or 3.50 for a group class but one a bit further away that offers 12 a private session and seems pretty legit.

I have been browsing the combat section on here for awhile and really don't want to be that guy asking stupid questions but I just want to get some guidance on the best thing to do for self defence and just an insight how people start competing in muay thai or boxing. Should I start with private or group classes. How many hours is optimal for rolling etc.

I was consistently improving and putting 2 to 3 hours in on the matts before work and injury has stopped me training and I am not the type to ask advice and then just not do anything. I am not here to validate any of my own theories or get back ups for any of my own opinions I guess I just want some good advice as I am confused what to do once I get back from my current injury, deep gash in upper arm and forearm and long hours split up throughout the day that stop me training. ]]> Sat, 01 Jun 2013 00:07:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5578532 Want to Try Boxing http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5647967
Currently I am 6 feet and about 200 lbs. What I realized is that I do not necessarily have the best genetics for bodybuilding. I have short muscle bellies that insert high. As I understand, this means I have less overall potential for hypertrophy but may be more suited to athletic/explosive movements. Aside from the structural genetics, I don't have great genetics for being lean and gaining muscle (not a mesomorph, actually tend to be more lanky).

I don't have a great build for a powerlifter either. Long arms so my deadlifting is decent, but benching is not that great and I have a short torso/long femurs so not great for squatting either.

I want to try boxing. I have long arms, which I think helps quite a bit. However, I have been a smoker for the past 2 years (not cigarettes) and I rarely do cardio. So my cardio is pretty shit.

How would you slowly transition from bodybuilding to boxing in terms of training? Here is a progression I was thinking of:


Currently:

Lift weights 7 days a week on a bodybuilder split (back-chest/shoulder-legs-arms)

Over Summer switch to:

Lift weights 4 days a week on an athlete's split focusing on strength (Push/Legs/Pull/Legs)
Do cardio 3 days/week to increase my cardiovascular endurance

Perhaps in 6 months switch to:

Lift 3 days/week to maintain/marginally increase strength
Boxing classes 2 days/week


------

Cliffs:

How do transition from bodybuilding training 7 days/week, no cardio, smoker for 2 years, about 200 lbs

to

Boxer, with about the same strength/muscularity but lighter (bound to lose some mass with all the heavy cardio training and less emphasis on weights)


One site I guess I should check is Ross Training

My whole point is that I am looking for some type of training in which I can really excel. ]]> Thu, 30 May 2013 12:36:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5647967 Is the Idea of Strength Philosophical? http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5664558
They were clearly really friendly, just breaking each others balls but one of the guys was joking around about how he could lift more and the other quipped back that he might not be able to lift as high as the guy could for a max effort for a few reps but could lift more for 10-12 reps.

I have always found whenever I do low reps it does not seem to translate to being stronger if i go back to high reps.

For example the first routine I did i went from benching 5okg for 8-12 reps for 3-4 sets to lifting on a 5 rep template and I went from lifting 55kg to 75kg but when I tried going back to high reps I wasn't able to bench more than 50kg for 10-12 reps.


So why is a guy who can say squat 1000lbs for one rep stronger than a guy who squats 250lbs for 20 reps?

I get that some people would call that endurance but per poundage lifted 250lbs x 20 =5000lbs where as 1x100lbs obviously = 1000


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK one more question i have always been interested in. when people say everyone is different and no one program is best for everyone, why is that, are we not all the same and respond the same to different types of resistnace as each other?

Mendhi says strength is the only way to get big and strong
The huge guys at the gym are always preaching volume
Metzner preaches intensity

Now if we are all made of the same tissue and biological make up, how can something not be best for everyone?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I posted in the combat forum because it seems to produce the best answers, if it has to be moved, apologies. ]]> Thu, 30 May 2013 01:58:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5664558 Junio-o-o-o-o-r! UFC 160 http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5666196
I saw the 2 main heavy weight fights that mattered most, more when I get to it. I am a JDS fan, and wondered if his previous loss to Velasquez burst a bubble and damaged his ego, and then wouldn't be as confident of a fighter.

I saw a hype video of the fight and Junior was saying that when he went to hospital the last time they determined that his creatine was over 1000 and that was an indication he was overtrained. It isn't hard to believe he may have driven himself to it because of what he knew was a high calibre fighter like Cain. Excuses sure, but he came up big this time. I was on the edge of my seat every time Hunt landed a combination, you could tell Junior was affected. Importantly, Junior almost finished him in a mounted crucifix after a good take down, and the back kick that ended it I wonder was Vitor Belfort inspired.

As far as Silva on the main event, I presumed that it should go to Cain, but there was this inkling of possibility Silva could pull it off. He was supposed also to have lost to Overeem, I guess the UFC needed a justification to give him a title shot, and when I saw the other hype video there was translation of Silva's cornermen saying that the first 2 rounds were right on game plan, to get Overeem tired before turning it on.

Edit: Morale of the stories here, Cain sent a message to Junior that he is a calibre of striker added to his grappling (not that he hasn't demonstrated it before, but still), and Junior sent one back that he can grapple a grand daddy of an opponent, and that he is more than just fists. ]]> Wed, 29 May 2013 01:57:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5666196 Froch Kessler http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5665867
Brilliant fight,I thought froch won it with the jab, he was throwing it non stop making kessler reset before he could throw the right.

I thought Kessler landed the bigger shots and if it weren't for his chin Kessler would have won.

I always wondered if judges were supposed to score who did the most damage or who landed the bigger shots, because the two are not necessarily the same, if froch had landed the shots on kessler that kessler landed on froch, it would have been over. ]]> Mon, 27 May 2013 12:59:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5665867 Specific Opposite Stance Tactic http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5663109 Whether fighting a sp or are a sp does anyone try this? or even better does anyone have a footage of a fighter successfully doing this in a fight to land a punch or something effective off this?

2 examples are one a lot of people know is jmm vs pac 4 there's a famous pic floating around of the knock out and it has jmm foot on top of pacs foot as he threw his big right hand. Now a lot of times this also happens by mistake, I do not know if he intentionally ment to do it or not so its hard to discuss if actually used it as a tactic.

But one bit of footage I have is ponce de leon trying it on broner...but nothing successful came out of it.
about 18:10min into the video go to



The question is, what do yous think of this? what is a good go to if I actually try this? What is something I should look out for if I do this? ]]> Thu, 23 May 2013 21:06:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5663109 Wrist/Hand Problems http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5660658
Anything i can do to speed up the recovery and to also prevent any future ones? ]]> Wed, 22 May 2013 16:45:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5660658 Daze Box Log http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5658994
This is what i do at the weight lifting gym today:

Bench Press(ramping up to a 3-5 rep max)

bar x 108
65 x 5
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 5
155 x 5
165 x 3(i did 4 but my spotter touched so i wont count it)

Explosive Pushups
3 x failure . consentrating on exploding up as hard as i can .

Cable Russian Twist- explosive with these
35 x 8
35 x 8
40 x 8
50 x 8

Rear Delt Fly Machine 3 x 15

Pushdowns 3 x 15 super set Hammer Curls 3 x 10
]]> Wed, 22 May 2013 00:24:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5658994 Soreness in Legs Hinders Flexibility Training http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5642802
I've also tried looking all over elsewhere on the internet and in other books, but I have no luck so far. So, how am I supposed to be able to improve my flexibility if I keep getting sore frequently? ]]> Tue, 21 May 2013 02:51:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5642802 Kung Fu Question http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5658881 Tue, 21 May 2013 00:35:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5658881 Boxing Video Critique http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5644219
]]> Sun, 12 May 2013 02:03:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5644219 Pac vs Rios, JMM vs Bradley http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5641277 Pac vs Rios in November

I would have preferred a 3rd fight between Rios and Mike Alvarado. Never the less, a couple of good fights coming up after summer ]]> Sat, 11 May 2013 20:28:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5641277 Pad Holding Has Become a Joke http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5602880
Before you think I am slagging MMA in general, I am not. I don't mind it, I enjoy it at times too but I thoroughly hate the bullshit that it has also spread with it's popularity and the injustice it has done to stand up arts.

My main beef is with pad holding.

More and more have I noticed that people don't hit pads any more. They actually have their pad holders hit their gloves. They barely move their arms and legs with true technique to hit a target, rather the 'pad holder' throws out and catches the gloves. Pad holder gets more of a work out and the sound of machine gun rattatatat as the fighter hits pads makes them look like they're decent stand up fighters.

Big Fucken LOL.

Before you get your knickers in a knot, I understand the concept of catching a punch or kick but what is now happening is a joke. Pad holders are meeting the trainee 1/4 of the distance through the trainees technique. What you have is short, ineffective, bullshit technique that cannot be applied at all in any fight scenario, even in close range fighting because the mechanics are completely out!

So fuck you MMA popularity. You're making stand up look bad, spreading bigger bullshit with your hocus pocus pad work sessions and your fighters are countable on one hand that actually have decent stand up. Holy shit that's some bad numbers. All the world MMA pool and you can count the decent stand up guys on one hand.

Oh sorry, I know the answer... yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to concentrate so much on not being taken down. I get it. Same excuse every time so that justifies the dog shit stand up work in MMA.

No one can watch any MMA guy or girl punch pads for hours because their is no art or beauty, skill or technique in what they do. So we have trumped up highlight reels from fucked up camera angles to hide their flaws. Documentaries that jump from scene to scene, mixed with music to arouse, angles to please and imagery to excite all because they lack the skill to properly display a still camera view of a guys technique.

One that comes to mind is when they were heralding Jake Shields as working on his stand up when he fought St Pierre. LMMAAAOO, that camera work hahahah, those snippets.... poor guy still looked like dog shit in the doco's.

Anyway, rant over. ]]> Wed, 08 May 2013 22:04:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5602880 Mayweather - Guerrero http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5631518
I dont even care shit

http://www.newser.com/...rero-fight.html

Good article, but shit its bad when people have to overplay a bloody nose rather than talking about what the opponent could do to him. ]]> Sun, 05 May 2013 05:12:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5631518 Boxing and Working Out http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5622782 Sat, 04 May 2013 22:34:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5622782 Your Typical Workout http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5557771
Are some workouts sport-and-skill specific, or do you mix in bodyweight stuff or weights? How are they structured? Why do you structure them that way? Do you change it up or stay with one kind of format?
]]> Fri, 03 May 2013 13:32:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5557771 Jones - Sonnen http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5623733
Jones by tko, because talk is cheap. If you can't hurt Anderson Silva at 185, Jones at 205 is going to put on a clinic. ]]> Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:49:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5623733 Bouncing on the feet http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5529404
I honestly have never seen any benefit to it unless its being done for a specific purpose, like trying to throw the opponent off the real direction you are taking.

But for most fighters it seems to be purely a waste of energy. You're not set to punch, it doesn't make you quicker in foot or hand, and a good opponent will time you so that he hits you when you cannot possibly get power into a counter punch.

If someone has a differing perspective by all means please tell. ]]> Tue, 30 Apr 2013 07:54:00 GMT http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=5529404