The Science of Getting Laid
by Nate Green
They have stupid pseudonyms like Cajun, Sheriff, Samurai, and The Don, but it's better than what they used to be called: geek, nerd, jackass, and douche bag.
They dress well but aren't necessarily good looking. Some are skinny with patchy facial hair. Others are slightly overweight. A few are just plain fucking ugly. But they're nothing out of the ordinary. They look like ... guys. If you were at a bar hanging out and they walked in you probably wouldn't even notice them.
That's okay with them. You're not their type.
You'd probably laugh with your friends as you watch one of them approach a group of gorgeous girls. But your laughter may turn to disbelief when you see the girls offer phone numbers. Disbelief might turn to shock as you watch a master pick-up artist walk out with the hottest one on his arm. And shock may turn to awe when you see him do it over and over again with different groups of sexy women.
Pick-up artists leave with Playboy centerfolds, porn actresses, models, perfect 10s. You leave with your best friend Steve.
But don't worry; they used to be just like you. Probably worse. And you can learn how to pick up chicks, too. That is, if you're man enough to ask for help.
Where do you turn for that help? You could do a lot worse than Nick Savoy, the 33-year-old president of Love Systems. With an MBA from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business and a former career as a consultant to Fortune 500 companies, Savoy isn't the kind of guy you'd expect to find teaching the finer points of hooking up with hot women. But his business sense may just be what sets him apart.
Nick Savoy, master pick-up artist. Don't blame him for appearing on Dr. Phil.
Testosterone: Let me get this straight. You teach guys how to meet, talk, and hook up with beautiful girls. What the fuck?
Savoy: That's about right, but we take a scientific approach to meeting women. In fact, we invented the term "dating science."
I have 20 different instructors around the world in every age and ethnic group, from Sweden to Thailand to the U.S., and what we do is unlock the puzzles of female psychology, teach them to men through our products and boot camps, and help them be successful with women, whether it's a one-night stand or a long-term relationship.
Testosterone: Ok, so give us an example of "dating science."
Savoy: Well, our flagship piece is the emotional-progression model. This is the idea that, for most women in most situations, you'll have to go through six different phases that happen in sequential order before she's most likely to sleep with you.
Testosterone: What are the phases?
Savoy: Approaching, transitioning, attraction, qualification, comfort, and seduction.
Testosterone: How'd you get into this?
Savoy: I'd broken up with my girlfriend of three years, who I thought I was going to marry. Even though it was my decision, it still hit me pretty hard because I'd been in a succession of exclusive relationships, one after another, more or less since my last year of college.
When I became single again in my late 20s I really didn't have much sense of what I was supposed to do. It was a lot harder than I thought. I mean, it was never easy in college, but this was a whole new level.
I randomly came across a few websites where people were actually talking about and studying this type of stuff. We were all looking for short cuts. I slowly got better. After a while, I started inventing my own techniques.
I got together with a couple of guys who had been offering these kinds of services, formed a company, and started offering dating-science products and workshops. That company eventually became Love Systems.
The instructors teach you how to date 9s and 10s. (No, it doesn't count if you add up three 3s.)
Testosterone: Was it embarrassing for you, knowing you had to resort to the Internet to learn how to meet women?
Savoy: Not really. Some guys may feel a little bit of shame that they had to learn how to succeed with women, but I don't think it's strange. I mean, it's all dictated by your cultural environment. People get professional advice on all sorts of stuff that affects their life that isn't anywhere near as important as their romantic relationships.
If I'm going to get advice on how to do my taxes or how to have a better golf swing or how to maintain and fix my car, why wouldn't I get lessons that are going to bring exciting women or the perfect girlfriend into my life?
Testosterone: Do you think the techniques you use are manipulative?
Savoy: Not at all. I think it's giving women what they actually want, as opposed to what they say they want. It's giving women what they respond to.
Testosterone: "What they actually want, as opposed to what they say they want." Meaning ...
Savoy: You should never take dating advice from women, even if they're sincerely trying to help you. A lot of women just don't know what really attracts them. And if they do, they usually don't admit it.
If you ask her for dating advice you'll hear all this stuff about being nice, paying them compliments, places to take them on dates, and platitudes like "just be yourself." That shit doesn't work in the real world.
What works in the real world is, for lack of a better word, being a little bit of a jerk, or being a little bit selfish. But there's a way to do that. You can't just be an asshole.
Testosterone: Got it. But are average guys that bad at meeting and attracting women?
Savoy: Some are and some aren't. I can go to any A-list club in Hollywood and find five guys who have fantastic game. They're usually what we call "naturals." But if you ask them, they won't even know what it is that they're doing. They may have a couple of signature moves that they've internalized, but they don't know how or why it works.
What makes what we do so powerful is that all of our instructors once sucked with women. They were once the losers that couldn't get dates, couldn't get girls, got nowhere at bars.
Testosterone: Are there any guys that this just doesn't work for at all?
Savoy: Well, if you take the boot camp and then three days later think that you're going to be a god with women, it's just not going to happen. It's just like learning a sport or a martial art. We can teach you stuff, we can train you, we can give you a road map, we can give you all of the best training in the world, but you're still going to have to go out and practice it.
Testosterone: So hit us with some tips.
Savoy: All right. We've determined there are eight specific things that most women are attracted to in a guy. What we guys have to do is come up with ways of implying each of those eight attributes.
The first three relate to things you are: health, social intuition, and humor. Health is being in shape, being fit, and having an active lifestyle. When you're around women, don't ever talk about being sick or being tired or an injury that you had or anything like that. There's an instinctive female emotional response to ill health: mothering. It's definitely not a sexual type of feeling.
The second one is social intuition and is hugely important. Women don't want to be with a guy who is socially awkward. Social intuition means recognizing all of the unwritten rules of social interactions and being able to navigate through them. It's not etiquette; it's not what hand to hold the knife and fork in, or any shit like that. But women are highly sensitive to social dynamics and how a man carries himself.
The third is humor. Humor predates language. It's innate to who we are and has a huge effect on women.
Those are the three things that can be about you.
Testosterone: And the others?
Savoy: The next two are things you have: wealth and status. Now, this won't be a mystery to most guys. Everyone knows girls like guys who are well-off and well-liked.
You could say, well, I don't have money or social status. That's fine. But this is where a lot of our techniques come in. It's not about lying, but giving women the same emotions they get when they're around a man that has wealth and status.
I'll give you an example using status.
I'm not an A-list celebrity. Hell, I am not even a D-list celebrity. But when I walk into a bar I make sure that I give off the same vibe. I'll confidently walk in and shake hands with the bouncer like I've been there a ton of times. I'll immediately walk into the first group that I see and, using some of the techniques that we've developed, become the center of attention and become popular within that group.
Then I may take some people from that group into another group. I'll approach a couple of women — maybe not the most beautiful women in the bar but definitely attractive women — and get them to walk around the bar with me under any pretext.
At that point I'm the guy who walks in, is the center of attention, people know me, women are surrounding me and trust me, and the same reflex that a beautiful woman has when a A-list celebrity walks in the bar has now been activated for me.
Testosterone: Interesting. So what are the last three attributes?
Savoy: They're outcomes that are the most important: pre-selection, confidence, and being a challenge.
Any guy who's healthy, has social intuition, a sense of humor, wealth, and status will also be confident, a challenge to women, and have women who already like him — that's what I mean by pre-selection.
Think about it for a second. If you're an Olympic athlete, everyone seems to love you, you merge effortlessly in and out of social situations, you're really funny, you've got a lot of social status, everyone looks up to you, you are doing well for yourself financially, but women don't ever seem to be interested in you.
And the first girl who is interested in you, you just sort of jump for. You'd be a shy pushover. It doesn't fit, does it?
Testosterone: Not at all.
Savoy: Women are constantly looking for stuff that doesn't fit. She's going to decide whether she's interested in sleeping with you within the first few minutes.
When most guys see a beautiful woman they're sexually attracted to, it's more or less all they need. But no respectable woman is going to just get down right away. So what are the next few hours for? Waiting to see if you screw up. She's just waiting to see if you're going to do something that's incongruent with her first impression of you.
She may not sleep with you on the first night because she wants to see if you're the same person when she goes on an actual date with you. She wants to get to know you to see if you're who she thinks you are. Women know that guys get pretty good at implying certain things about themselves.
But women take shortcuts, too. They'll look for guys who are pre-selected, confident, and challenging. They know it's highly correlated with what they're really looking for.
They'll test your confidence by giving you shit tests. They'll try to throw you off your game.
Testosterone: Give us an example.
Savoy: Let's say you're talking to a group of girls at a bar and one of them says, "I don't like your jacket. It looks gay."
If you respond, "Yeah, I know, I just got off a plane and only had a few minutes to change," then her sexual attraction to you just went to zero.
But if you say something like, "Too bad. I love it. It's a freakin' awesome jacket," her sexual attraction goes up.
Testosterone: What other ways do guys screw up their chances?
Savoy: Don't go in with the idea that you have to earn a woman's affection or earn her time. Never approach a woman by offering to buy her a drink. It's basically implying that you don't have enough going for you that she'd be interested in talking to you without you paying for her time.
They're laughing because you were dumb enough to buy them $20 worth of drinks.
Testosterone: That's pretty much how every guy operates.
Savoy: Yeah, don't do it. I mean, if you're talking to a woman for half an hour and connecting well and you feel like a drink, then of course you can buy her a drink. That's just being a man and showing social intuition.
But don't go up to a girl and offer to buy her a drink or point to a girl on the other side of the bar and have the bartender send her a drink. It's just shameful.
Another thing is guys are usually not loud enough. If a woman ever asks you to repeat yourself, you're not speaking clearly or loud enough. But don't compensate for this by leaning in. It's like the third deadly sin.
If you ever see a woman standing there and a guy is leaning into her, it just looks like poor body language and she's in control of the conversation.
Testosterone: What about approaching a girl for the first time?
Savoy: Have an opening line or a conversation starter ready to go before you even approach the first group. Don't get this confused with a pick-up line, though. There's no line you can deliver to a girl that's some magical incantation that will get her into bed.
The best you can do in an opening line is get her to laugh or start a conversation. The easiest kind for new guys is what we call an opinion opener.
One of our instructors developed the Text Message Opener. Just walk up to a group of girls, or a mixed group of guys and girls, and say, "Hey guys. I've got a quick question. Is it okay to break up with someone by text message?"
Now turn and point into the crowd at nobody in particular and say, "My buddy over there, him and his girlfriend are driving each other nuts and he just wants to call it off. He's fucking over it and just wants to send her a text. Now, I've never done it, but it seems pretty horrible. What do you guys think?"
There is no woman in the world that isn't going to have an opinion on that. They'll start talking. At that point, congratulations, you're in a conversation.
But that's just the first phase of the progression model. Now you have to transition, create attraction and qualification and so on.
Oh, and don't be afraid to run that same opener the entire night. Even if somebody is like, "Didn't you just ask those people that?" you can say, "Absolutely. But I didn't like their answer. What do you think?"
If you want her attention, you've got to separate yourself from the other guys.
Testosterone: That's a pretty damn good tip. Any final words?
Savoy: I'd just like to say that people who're interested in what we do or interested in getting a lot better with women should go check out this video of Cajun, one of our instructors. If you want to see what it's like to have game, make sure to watch.
Oh, and if people want a good starting place, I'd suggest taking a look at our manual, Magic Bullets. It comes with a 100 percent money-back guarantee and it's constantly updated when we get new material. People who invest in that are always up to date with our best and brightest.
Testosterone: Thanks for the interview, Nick!
Nate Green is the author of Built for Show: Four Body Changing Workouts for Building Muscle, Losing Fat, and Looking Good Enough to Hook Up, which is available in bookstores nationwide.
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