by Dan John
It's time to flip the script on your favorite Testosterone writers and see just what they're up to in the gym. Who's putting up outrageous numbers? Who's leaving the cardio bunnies all hot and bothered? Who walks the walk and who just talks the talk?
It all comes down to this: I want to be that guy. Let me explain by using something that dominates the American landscape during periods of spring — the high school prom.
The other day, I heard a story about voting for prom royalty at a local high school. It seems that in one homeroom there were too many ballots delivered, and two desperate-for-attention cheerleaders put their names on the extras.
I can only imagine the scene if they would've won: "You like me, you really like me!" Where's Sally Field when the world actually needs her? For the record, this little accounting error was discovered, so I'm left shaking my head and laughing at these clichéd high school cheerleaders. And to be a bit like our four friends from "Sex and the City," I pity the nice, young man who says "I do" to either of them in a few years. Meow.
I have another prom story that took place when I was about nine years old. The day before my brother Gary left for Vietnam to fight in a war (and I don't really remember why we fought this war), we hosted a nice going away party for him. Halfway through the evening, a neighbor girl came over in tears. She'd been stood up for her prom. Gary looked over and said, "I'll take you." He ran upstairs, got into a suit, and took this young lady to prom.
As he left, I thought to myself, "I want to be that guy."
When TC asked me to discuss my real training — not some mythical bunch of crap I whip out, selling my soul in the process — I thought about what I could write.
You know, I've had some amazing workouts and competed at a pretty high level. But the ability to have those amazing workouts and compete at the top end requires months and years of prep. And to be honest, during the middle of track season, my daughter's graduation and prom, and my wife's busy road schedule, just getting in a workout is worthy of dinner and dancing.
So, let me continue my goal of becoming that guy and be completely frank. First and foremost, let's always remember that I started lifting in 1967, roughly when Gary left for Vietnam. I've competed at an organized level in Olympic lifting, powerlifting, kettlebell lifting, track and field, football, soccer, basketball, baseball, softball, and Highland games. I've also coached formally since 1979. I've produced national champions and have been thanked by Olympians for helping out. In other words, I've been around and can keep my ego in check.
With that said, a few warnings are in order. One, nobody has a "typical week." I've yet to find someone who can honestly follow a program for two weeks without tweaking it. Second, I train at home even though I have the finest gym in America to play with every day. Like many of us who coach, I can't train where I work. I know others do, but when you work with teens, well, it just doesn't work. I usually describe coaching as being "pecked to death by a hundred ducks." Third, I can't help myself, I love changing things constantly. Sorry, but I do.
Often, Sunday is the only day of the week that my wife, Tiffini, and I have time together. That's the day we do the Costco shopping. It might be the single best health choice I make the entire week. If we eat something healthy and filling before we shop, write up a list before we go, and plan our meals all week, well, then we eat smart all week.
But, we've also discovered that the 4:30 Bikram yoga class is a perfect start to the week. We spend an hour and a half sweating in 110 degree heat, while I rediscover every injury I've ever enjoyed.
The best part is driving home after and having a glass of wine that acts like ten. We also both laugh about the Bikram sleep after the workout where you just zone out like you're on a warm beach on a beautiful day.
I always have Monday and Thursday evenings free, so I have a chance to train with my buddy, Nick, at 5:30. He comes over to the house and we move some weight around.
We usually start with the "great eight" sprints. In the back of my house, there's a long parkway and we do eight "build up" sprints. The idea is to start slow, then ease off. Actually, we do try to accelerate through each set, but the goal is to get the sprint work in without hurting anything.
The eight sprints are between forty and sixty meters. We try to accelerate in the middle of each set, increasing the intensity with each sprint.
Nick is weak in his upper body, so he does pushing and pulling every workout. One of our favorites for Nick is simply this series:
• Back squat for five reps
• Pull-up for five reps
• Push-up for five reps
• Power curl for five reps
• Military press (he uses his legs a little) for five reps
Nick will do these one after another, performing up to five total sets.
While he's doing that, I've been doing ladders on the kettlebell clean and press, along with some pull-ups. This is my track season workout. Carefully note, this is the workout I do while I coach. I go up to twelve to fifteen hours on some days with work, meets, and road trips, so the load I can handle is reduced.
The ladders are almost always 1-2-3, so it looks like this:
• One left arm kettlebell clean and press
• One right arm kettlebell clean and press
• One pull-up
• Two left arm kettlebell clean and presses
• Two right arm kettlebell clean and presses
• Two pull-ups
• Three left arm kettlebell clean and presses
• Three right arm kettlebell clean and presses
• Three pull-ups
I do this three times during most of the year, but I extend it to five during the summer months.
I finish Monday with one of two things. We either do a long farmer bar walk, which complements the sprints, or I just do kettlebell snatches if the weather is rough.
The snatches look like this:
• Left arm kettlebell snatch for ten reps
• Right arm kettlebell snatch for ten reps
Rest and repeat for whatever number of sets feels "good."
The "plan" for Tuesday seems simple enough: a snatch-grip deadlift, topped off with an explosive shrug. This is done for either two sets of five, 5-3-2 going heavy, or six heavy singles (it changes weekly).
But things rarely go as planned. Tuesdays are usually very busy, so I've been doing thick-bar deadlifts or pull-ups during the day. I don't think I can do enough pull-ups. So, Tuesday is a fun, "take care of business" day.
I did notice that when my wife is in town, I tend to go to an evening Bikram yoga class with her, as my goal is to go to two sessions a week during the season. It does matter that I don't get home until after midnight on the nights we have track meets in some of the more remote parts of Utah.
Forget it. It ain't happening. I have no time on Wednesdays, as we always have a meet.
Nick comes by again on Thursdays, and we basically repeat our Monday workouts with just one or two little changes.
I change Nick's workouts all the time, but I stick to my Monday workouts with two changes. I do kettlebell swings instead of snatches and I usually front squat.
I try to just get reps in, like five sets of five, and I put no ego into the weight selection. I let my spirit guide what I put on the bar, so I don't worry if it's 205, 255, or 135. Those of you who have lives probably know what I mean by this.
I gain a bit of joy coming home on Friday, even though I know Saturday will be spent at some Godforsaken corner of Utah at a twelve-hour track meet. I find myself doing a workout nearly every Friday of snatches, presses, or something without any real rhyme or reason. It's just a guy playing with weights.
We walk the dog a couple of days a week, and Friday afternoons are a great time to just wander with the dog after a few sets of whatever.
I look forward to training on Saturday every Saturday. I just have to wait a few months, that's all.
I have a theory that supplements work best when you aren't in a perfect training situation (like an offseason). I take a ton, but these five top the list:
1. I start and end all supplement discussions with Flameout. Take it. A lot of it.
2. The best supplement from a cost to benefit ratio is orange flavored sugar-free Metamucil. Talk to any athlete about the issues of "elimination" and you'll see the benefits. It also seems to do wonders for blood profiles.
3. ZMA before bed. Yes, I know the history, but this stuff seems to work. I've always thought that magnesium is underhyped, anyway.
4. I sure like this stuff called AlphaMale. I don't know what it is or why it works, but it works as advertised. If I even notice a supplement, I'm amazed.
5. The bowl of oatmeal with MetabolicDrive and cinnamon is still the best snack for a strength athlete. I've heard it does marvels for you, but I like the fact that it hits whatever spot needs hitting when in a heavy training mode.
So, there you go. I make sure I eat a breakfast of eggs and meat every day. I gorge on a huge salad at lunch and "do my best" at dinner. I eat a lot of fiber and even more protein. And I take my supplements. I try to sleep, but I wake up worrying about bus drivers, the weather, and a thousand other details.
But, I keep going. I have a goal. I want to be that guy.
© 1998 — 2008 Testosterone, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Article Discussions
