And you may ask yourself How do I work this? And you may ask yourself Where is that large automobile? And you may tell yourself This is not my beautiful house! And you may tell yourself This is not my beautiful wife! Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down Letting the days go by/water flowing underground Into the blue again/after the moneys gone Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground. Same as it ever was... same as it ever was... same as it ever was... — David Byrne, The Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime"

I was going to call this article "6 Things I Hate," then I realized I'd be a hypocrite. I tell my seven-year-old daughter all the time that hate is a strong word and it should be used with caution. Hence the new title.

Lately there's been much discussion about whether it's more beneficial to do total body training (TBT) or some version of a split system where parts of the body are separated for different workouts.

If there's one constant in strength training, it's variety. Those who vary their programs will often make consistent progress. What's common in most programs, however, is a lack of variety!

There's an old saying that goes, "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, but tell him about periodization, and confuse him for the rest of his life."

I wanted to be a scientist for most of my youth and even took that route in college, studying microbiology. But I also wanted to be an English professor or a writer and I studied that in college, too. I always felt confident that I'd find a lifestyle that married all those disciplines quite amicably.

Question: Who's the first person that comes to your mind when I tell you to think of a celebrity named Duane who kicks ass for a living? I'm guessing you said "The Rock," as in pro-wrestler turned movie star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

When I look at all the questions that people send me, one of the more common themes I notice is confusion around the topic of putting together your weekly training cycle. So for my first edition of The Staley Strategies , I thought I'd elaborate on one of my all-time favorite strategies (this one being a tactic, technically speaking): the A-B split.

The current issue of the Atlantic Monthly has this as its cover story: "The 100 Most Influential Americans of All Time."

At first glance, it might seem that the title of this article is a double entendre (you know, like "Kid Rock Rules!"). I assure you, it's not. My linguistic reference of choice is not a music-challenged snowboarder but the Oxford English Dictionary, or for all you acronym lovers: OED.

The workout's over. Chalk up another one. I'm a little too shaky to walk to my car so I stop at the coffee shop to sit down and let my nervous system regain its composure. I've left my wrist straps on because, well, it makes the uninitiated think I just broke out of my restraints and I kinda' like that.

The Holidays: Still A Fitness Enthusiast's Nightmare It's that time of year again. The most dedicated and hardcore lifters are still in the gym for two hours a day, six days per week, while the rest of us (a.k.a. the non-loser majority) are facing a time-crunched, often unavoidable four to six week period packed full of bullshit shopping, crowded malls, kick ass family get-togethers, boring-as-all-hell family get-togethers, parties with friends, parties with co-workers, parties that you just crashed, and hangovers.

Over the years I've studied dozens of supplements and ergogenic aids, most notable among them creatine, and when something new comes along, I find myself asking the same questions: • Does it occur naturally in the body or in foods? • When taken orally, does the body use it to its advantage, or does it combat it? • When exerting its effects, what physiological processes occur? • Do I want to use it?

"Sorry, this has never happened to me before." I couldn't believe those words were actually coming out of my mouth. There I was, naked in bed with a beautiful, equally naked redhead, and my normally reliable trouser soldier wouldn't come to attention.

The great majority of men in the iron game, probably 80%, started training because they wanted big arms. The other 20% are, of course, liars. Even if having great guns isn't an aspiring bodybuilder's top priority, I'm willing to bet it's way the hell up there.

When it comes to muscle and performance, Charles Poliquin is so far ahead of most of the non-Testosterone pack it's scary. He's not only on the cutting edge, he's the guy who sharpens it. We're glad to be reviving his famous Q & A column here at T-Nation.

The ruler Phalaris has been called a monster, but sometimes I think he was a pretty ingenious guy.

In the highly competitive world of athletics, the margin separating victory from defeat is often small. As a result, athletes know that the difference between medaling and placing off the podium can be a few hundredths of a second.

Breaking Down the Zone Q: What do you think about the Zone Diet?

Brush with Greatness Wayne Gretzky Jay Gatsby Frosted Flakes Nathan Marquardt What do all of these people (and cereal) have in common? They'rrrrrre grrrreat!