Scientists have discovered that in addition to just plain looking better, symmetrical humans are smarter, make more money, screw better, and even smell better! Is there any hope for you?
Paint Bucket couldn't believe he'd gotten a gig on Christmas Eve. "Let me get this straight, you want me to come to your cafe on Christmas Eve, play for 2 or 3 hours, on the roof? You fuckin' with me, white boy?"
Back in 1946, Clarence the angel helped George Bailey realize what a wonderful life he had. Over 60 years have passed and now it's time for him to do his magic again, this time with a guy named Tim Patterson.
Unlike women, it seems, men know their own anatomy. They examine their penises daily with the same rapt fascination as a numismatist who just stumbled onto a rare 1909-S VDB Lincoln penny. But there's one area where women have the edge on men.
Oprah has her list of favorite things for Christmas so why shouldn't TC have one too? The big guy gives his gift recommendations for the holiday season and there's not a panini press or Josh Groban CD to be seen.
You women ought to know something: whenever a guy hugs you, he's just copping a feel. It's now officially hugging season, so get ready to feel like a piece of ripe fruit at the grocery store of lust.
If you're married or in a relationship, you're going to eventually feel an animal urge to stray. It's not your fault, Bubba. It's because that thing with all the junk in her trunk is chockfull of omega-3 fatty acids.
TC goes Hiro Nakamura and takes a look at mankind's bleak future while trying to avoid creating any temporal paradoxes. Biotest is still there as is bodybuilding, but those damn dirty apes won't take their stinkin' paws off him.
You don't fit in with polite society. You're usually pissed about something, horny as hell, and you've got this habit of alienating everybody you meet. Welcome to the wonderful world of high Testosterone! Ain't it grand?
Popular Mechanics came out with a list of skills every man should know. Now it's TC's turn. His list includes tips on how to punch someone, how to tan a Figure competitor, and how to make whoopie. TC's list is more fun.
It's all over, buddy. Muscle is completely out of fashion. Oh, and so are female breasts. We're going to commit suicide by disguising ourselves as chocolate kisses and get nibbled to death by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders. You?
Researchers discovered that one-third of men don't bother to wash up after using a public restroom. Ha! As if that was all they had to worry about! TC points a microscope at the horrific microbial world we live in.
Winners of the Soy Boy Award receive a Golden Soy Boy statuette, which depicts a scrawny youth wearing nothing but a pair of Crocs while carrying a parasol to protect himself from the damaging rays of the sun. This year, a surprise winner.
A rollicking story about Cleveland, the Cleveland Browns, the French Impressionists, Einstein, Krispy Kreme donuts, Tony Soprano, human relationships, playing the trombone, adult DVD's, and sunscreen. Somehow it all ends up making sense.
The intrepid TC and his translator travel to Tijuana in search of cheap women, cheap booze, and cheap steroids. Unfortunately, neither life nor Tijuana is that easy. Here's your guide to drugs and debauchery. Use it wisely.
Chances are, your olive oil is really soy oil. There's a drug that might cure cancer, but it's being ignored. Certain protein powders contain maltodextrin instead of protein. Gordon Gekko said, "Greed is good," but who ever thought they'd become words to live by?
It's summer time. It's wedding time. TC thinks it's ironic that wedding receptions — despite being the modern-day equivalent of what started out as a fertility ritual — are the most emasculating thing imaginable. "Where's the whoopee?" he asks.
If you take at least some of these things to heart... you'll be just as screwed up as TC is. Ha! That'll teach ya'. Of course, there's some good weight training and diet info in here too, so it might be a fair trade-off.
David Beckham's coming to America, his trunks and suitcases filled with hair dye, pink nail polish, and the panties he prefers to boxers. The Mayans predicted the world would end in 2012, but they may have overshot the mark by 5 years.
We don't know what's better, the fact Biotest was finally recognized by the outside world for its quality, or that Tim Patterson agreed to a rare interview! We call it a coin toss.
Does the new Testosterone format herald a change in philosophy? Is T-Nation going mainstream? Is T-Nation selling out? Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my! TC reaffirms the T-Nation principles set forth by the founding fathers.
Feeding corn to cattle is bad news. It leaves them open to infections that require antibiotics. It also alters the fatty-acid ratio of the beef. Nutritionists recommend a 3 to 1 or 2 to 1 ratio of omega 6 fatty acids to omega 3 fatty acids, but the meat from corn-fed cattle has a fatty acid ratio of nearly 20 to 1! However, grass-fed cattle have a fatty acid ratio that's in the exact range that nutritionists recommend. Eating a steak or burger from grass-fed cattle is almost similar, health-wise, to eating wild salmon.
It's one of the oldest bodybuilding methods, but it works, big-time. You can train practically every day without beating your body up. TC describes his lasting love affair with Push/Pull Training.
71 things about bodybuilding, diet, food, nutrition, supplements, socks, girls, and life in general that Joe Weider never taught you.
We've done the unthinkable. We've killed the female sex drive and it's resulted in a world of hamsters. A trademark TC romp through history, literature, and biology.